


Who You Are, and Who You're Meant to Be

by MonPetitTresor



Series: The Fledgling [10]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Supernatural
Genre: Angel flocks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Fledgling - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Little Spencer, M/M, Multiple POV's, There's pain in here later on, but also lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 19:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10905804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonPetitTresor/pseuds/MonPetitTresor
Summary: When going to meet an old friend, something happens that Spencer didn't expect. Someone out there thinks that it's time for Spencer to learn a lesson and finally accept the part of himself that he's been denying for far too long. It's time for him to figure out who he really is... and who he's meant to be.





	Who You Are, and Who You're Meant to Be

**Author's Note:**

> So instead of completely getting rid of this story, my friends convinced me not to, and they worked their asses off to help me fix it up. So, I figured I'd edit it as well, get it all back in order, pull out some crap parts and make some parts a little better. I did a few grammar fixes, some minor editing too. The story should mostly stay the same until the end, but what little changes happen, and the new ending, I hope you guys like :) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE

The soft rumble of a car underneath him was a soothing sensation that Spencer hadn’t realized he’d been missing. Living with angels, as well as learning how to use his own wings, meant that Spencer rarely traveled anywhere by car anymore. Everywhere they went they seemed to fly. Not that that was a problem – he’d started to _love_ flying. What was not to enjoy about it? The freedom of being up in the air, of feeling the wind in his wings and seeing everything under and around him, it was absolutely amazing in ways that Spencer wasn’t even sure how to describe.

But there was something to be said about a nice car ride as well. Curled up in the passenger’s seat, knees up near the dash, head tilted to stare at the passing scenery. There was a bottle of water cradled in his lap, tilted to keep from falling over, the warmth of the sun was on his face and making him feel even more sleepy, and the low sound of some R&B music made for an excellent background sound. And all that was just what Spencer could feel with _normal_ senses. His angelic ones added a whole other layer of things.

With his angelic senses, Spencer was aware of the world around him, how it moved past him as they went. He could feel the warmth that came off of the soul of one of his closest friends, one who he absolutely trusted to get him where he was going. From Derek there came the low, muted hum of a familiar mind and emotions. Spencer was deliberately tuning his friend out, not listening, but that didn’t turn off his powers. It just made it so that what he heard from Derek’s mind was the same kind of buzz that one might get from a radio playing low in the other room. Sound, a sense of rhythm maybe, but no real words.

The fact that there wasn’t anyone else there to disturb them only made it all the better. Being with Derek was a relaxing thing. Derek knew Spencer from before – he knew all the little quirks that the others were still learning sometimes. And they’d reached a level of comfort together that a mostly silent car ride together was easy for them to do. There was nothing awkward about it.

As if thinking about that silence had jinxed him, Spencer felt his phone buzz in his lap. He chose to ignore it. If it were important, someone would’ve prayed to him.

Derek and Spencer had only been gone for close to two hours. They’d had to sneak out just to be able to get out of there alone, something which both amused and annoyed Spencer just the slightest bit. Though a few weeks had gone by since Derek’s first successful hunt, it still wasn’t easy for any of them to leave the bunker for long, and not without plenty of extra people.

Spencer, especially, didn’t really get a chance to go anywhere alone. If he didn’t have his father-figure with him, he had one of the other archangels around or one of the Winchesters. All the while Anna would be somewhere nearby keeping a silent vigil. She took her self-appointed bodyguard job rather seriously. For him to get out of the house like this without her was probably driving her mad. As would be the fact that he was using the tricks Gabriel had taught him what seemed like forever ago that allowed him to hide his grace. Gabriel would know where he was – he had ties to Spencer that weren’t as easily masked and that Spencer didn’t _want_ to mask. But he and Spencer had an understanding, and he wasn’t going to rat him out.

This wasn’t an important trip out of the bunker. At least, Spencer didn’t think it was. He just needed to meet up with one of the contacts he’d been reaching out to for information. He didn’t really think it was going to be for anything big. When Elsie had emailed him, she hadn’t said anything about it being important. Just that she wanted to meet with him to talk about things. Neither one really liked computers – he wasn’t a huge fan of technology, and she was a witch who preferred to keep things more natural – so her asking for a face-to-face talk was no real shocker.

Bringing Derek for a drive instead of just flying himself there and back had mostly come about because he knew his friend needed out and, honestly, Spencer was more than happy to get away from everyone and everything else for just a little. To just hang out with the person who had been his closest friend for years, until Spencer had made all these new friends.

Another buzz of his phone had Derek chuckling. “You really not gonna check that?”

“If it’s important, they’ll pray,” Spencer said, shrugging. He rolled his head to the side and smiled over at his friend. “I’m pretty sure they can survive without my company for the afternoon.”

“I don’t know, man. Everything might just crumble and fall apart without you there.”

The sarcasm in those words was returned with ones just as heavy. “Ha, ha, ha, Morgan. You’re _hilarious_.”

Derek flashed him a broad grin. “I know. It’s my burden in life, right up there with my good looks and amazing personality.”

There was no way Spencer could even pretend to be annoyed with him. He gave in and started chuckling, shaking his head. “You’re insane,” he said, a smile on his lips. This right here was what he’d missed lately. This easy comradery with a close friend. Still smiling, he shook his head again and sat up a little straighter in his seat. They were coming up on their exit now, and he lifted a hand to start gesturing Derek in the right direction. “Take this exit up here. Elsie’s house shouldn’t be but another ten minutes at most.”

“Look at you,” Derek took his exit, sneaking a glance over at Spencer as he did and smirking. “Ten minutes at most, he says. What, no precise estimation of our arrival time? You haven’t got it figured out down to the half minute yet?”

Spencer rolled his eyes, and mock scowled at him to try and hide the hint of a blush that was coloring his cheeks. “Be quiet.” No need to mention that he could be even more accurate in his assessment now. His sense of the world around him allowed him to be a lot more precise when figuring those sorts of things out.

They kept up an easy back-and-forth teasing as Spencer directed Derek along the streets until he reached an average looking house in the middle of white suburbia. Spencer could feel Derek’s surprise as the man parked out front and looked around. “This is where your witch lives?”

Amusement curved Spencer’s lips and warmed his gaze. Without looking away from Derek, he gestured towards Elsie’s house. “That house right there has so many wards on it, most creatures out there are going to be turned away from it without ever understanding why. It’s almost invisible to most senses.” At Derek’s continued surprise, Spencer gave in and let himself grin. “You should know better than to fall for stereotypes, Morgan.”

“Yeah, you’d think I would,” Derek agreed. He was smiling, though.

Reaching for his buckle, Spencer wasn’t looking over at his friend as he told him “I’ll be back shortly,” so he didn’t see the look on his face. He felt the mix of emotions though and knew what would come next. One of the terms he’d set when letting Derek go with him was that the man had to stay in the car. At the time, Derek hadn’t protested. Spencer knew better than to think it would last.

“You sure I can’t come in with you?” Derek asked. He didn’t sound as bothered by it as Spencer had expected. If anything, he sounded kind of resigned, as if he already knew what the answer was going to be and yet couldn’t keep himself from asking anyway. “I don’t like sending you in without backup.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Morgan. She just wants to talk.”

Later on, Spencer would think that those were rather famous last words.

CXCX

When Elsie let Spencer inside, it was with the same bright smile she’d always had. The first time Spencer had met her he’d felt like she just radiated her good mood. Now, with his extra senses, he was really able to feel it, and it was absolutely amazing.

Elsie didn’t try to hug him. She just greeted him with a warm “Spencer” that seemed to carry all the emotion of an actual hug to it. Blue eyes crinkled up at the corners with wrinkles that came from years of laughter. There were more than had been there the last time Spencer had seen her, just as he noticed there was a bit more gray in her brown hair this time around. Other than that, she looked exactly as he remembered her, even down to the floral blouses she always favored and the soft slacks she wore that made her look like a businesswoman in casual dress or a PTA mom.

“Come in, come in,” she encouraged, waving him inside. Her hand brushed his arm as he passed and he couldn’t help but smile back at her. Elsie bustled him inside and right to the dining room, gesturing for him to take a seat. “I put on a pot of coffee soon as I knew you were close. Just have a seat, and I’ll get us a few cups.”

There was no point in refusing. Spencer knew how to be a polite houseguest. He took his seat as directed and didn’t argue. “That’d be wonderful, Elsie, thank you.”

They made small talk as she prepared their coffee and brought it over to the table. It was nice to just take a moment and catch up on things with someone Spencer liked to consider a friend. But once their coffee was made and she was sitting with him again, Elsie did one of the things he really enjoyed about her. She cut straight through the bullshit and got right to the point. “I know what you’re here to ask me about, Spencer. I can feel how you’ve changed.”

That last part was a bit surprising. “Really?” He was still shielding. If she could feel it through that, either she knew tricks that _Gabriel_ didn’t, or else he was getting sloppy.

She let out a low laugh. “Don’t stress over it, child. I wouldn’t be able to tell what you were if I hadn’t already Seen it.”

Ah, well, that explained it. Spencer relaxed a little and loosened his grip on his mug. “If you know about me, I imagine you know what’s coming.”

“Yes.” A soft shiver ran down her body. He watched as she turned away, eyes going down and to the left for a moment. Silent, he watched, giving her the opportunity to gather herself once more. Obviously whatever it was that she’d Seen hadn’t been pleasant for her. Not all that surprising. What little Spencer knew was enough to terrify him. There was an echo of that terror now as Elsie looked back up at him with eyes that looked suddenly so much older than they had before. She reached one hand out, and he met her halfway, catching her fingers with his and letting her hold on. “I’m sorry, Spencer. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this,” she whispered.

No matter how scared he was, he didn’t let it show. Instead, he gave Elsie a soft, gentle smile, and he curled one wing in until it wrapped around her a bit in a way he knew would give off a sense of calm and peace with just the right focus. “It’ll be all right. I can do this.” He had to do this. There was no other choice.

“No, you can’t,” Elsie said, stunning him. He drew back in shock and would’ve let go of her hand if she hadn’t held on tightly. She didn’t let him draw away from her as she continued to speak, her voice getting a little stronger with each word. “You’re still so afraid of all of this. You’re never going to be able to accept what you have to do. Not until you can accept who you are. Who you’ve become.”

“I do…” Spencer started to say.

She cut him off, shaking her head. “No, you don’t, Spencer. Not yet.” Her eyes seemed to sparkle then, and Spencer felt his grace tingle in a silent warning. Something wasn’t right here. Power – power that he hadn’t sensed before, that he knew she wasn’t even capable of – welled up inside her. It glowed in her eyes and poured off her, freezing him in place. At the same time, she smiled at him. “But, don’t worry. You will.”

That warning cry in Spencer’s grace grew louder as Elsie let go of him and lifted up both her hands. Spencer tried to move, to spread his wings and _fly_ as fast as he could, pride be damned, only he wasn’t fast enough.

The power in Elsie grew to an immensity that Spencer knew no human was capable of. There was no time to wonder how that was possible, or what was happening to her. Power shot out of her and slammed into him with a force that had Spencer pinned. It pressed down on him, pushing him down until there was nothing else in the world that Spencer could see or feel. Just this bright, glowing white light.

It curled itself around him so tightly there was no way to get away. Spencer felt it seep down into him, saturating every inch of his body.

Then, just as abruptly as it hit, it was gone, and Spencer was left there on the couch.

Right away Spencer knew that something was wrong. He could feel it when he slumped back, and as he scrambled to try and get himself up. Elsie had done something – something huge. But _what_?

One look down at his body gave Spencer the answer to that. Shock and horror lit up Spencer’s grace, and his wings flared out in response, quivering in the air around him before drawing in protectively, sheltering a body that was so much smaller than it had been thirty seconds ago. Wide, accusing eyes flashed up to the woman he’d thought was his friend, who was looking down at him with both sadness and pity. “You made me int’ a baby!” Spencer's voice was high and squeaky, with that lisp he’d worked so damn hard to get rid of when he was younger. Dammit!

“Not quite,” Elsie said, her voice still ringing with that power that wasn’t hers. The power of whatever had taken her over and done this to him. “Your body is closer to two. I wanted to put you close to the age of your grace, but shrinking you to a year seemed… cruel.”

Cruel. _Cruel_? Oh, but shrinking him to two, that was perfectly acceptable? Spencer's wings quivered, and his grace was twisting inside of him in a way that made his body feel sick.

The pity in Elsie’s eyes grew. She stepped towards him, ignoring the small flinch that he gave, and crouched down at his side. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Spencer. I’m really not. I’m trying to help you. You are the only hope we have. Yet you cannot think to win as you are now. You fight who you are – _what_ you are – even more fiercely than you fight your enemies. You need to learn to accept the fledgling inside of you before you have any chance of growing into who you are meant to be.”

“I don’ have time for this!” Spencer snapped, trying to make his voice sound stronger. His grace was dancing inside of him, and he was terrified it was going to come ripping out in a moment. “You’re going to fix this, Elsie, and fix it now!”

“I can’t.”

She sounded so apologetic. Spencer didn’t have it in him to feel bad for her, though. If she wasn’t going to help him, he knew someone who would. Without hesitation he reached down that bond that was ever-present in his head, and he called out to the one being he knew would come with his call – the one that he was honestly surprised hadn’t shown up yet. “Gab’iel!”

As soon as Spencer said that name, the world around him flashed once more, but even though he flinched, it didn’t touch him. This time, there was no light changing him. This time, the light had changed something else.

Elsie was gone.

A furious cry ripped past Spencer’s lips. She was gone!

There was that familiar tugging at Spencer's senses that cut off his rage and told him his guardian was coming. Spencer didn’t even get a chance to think about his own actions. Something in him shifted at the knowledge that Gabriel was coming. The rage faded and was replaced with fear and a need like nothing he’d ever felt. As soon as Gabriel came in to land, the scared part of Spencer took over and had him launching forward almost the instant Gabriel touched the ground.

To his credit, the archangel didn’t miss a beat. He’d landed with his weapon in his hand and a serious look on his face as he scanned for whatever threat had made Spencer cry out like that. But he didn’t even hesitate to catch up the kid that launched at him, one hand catching and pulling Spencer in close while the other kept tight hold of his weapon. Only when he saw there was no visible threat did he finally look at who it was he held. Spencer, from his place burrowed in at Gabriel’s side, watched as his guardian’s eyes widened with shock and his wings flared out before wrapping tightly around him. “Spencer?! What happened?”

Spencer curled himself in a little closer and tried to bury his head against Gabriel’s chest. He didn’t use his words. Instead, he reached out with his grace, letting it press against Gabriel’s in a touch that was immediately accepted. Once they were connected, allowing Gabriel to see what had happened was easy.

“Ah, kiddo.” Arms and wings wrapped tighter around Spencer while grace stroked soothingly over his. What on earth did it say about their lives that Gabriel didn’t even hesitate to accept this?

Spencer clutched at the archangel’s jacket even tighter. He’d come here trusting Elsie, and this was what she did to him? Changed him? “Gab’iel.” The word slipped past Spencer’s lips again, and he turned his face in so he could better hide. It felt like it wasn’t just his body that had changed – his emotions were all over the place, worse than he could ever remember it being. Even as a kid he couldn’t remember feeling this sort of weak control or such strong emotions.

Either Gabriel was listening in, or their thoughts were running parallel, because he suddenly said: “I think she did more than change your body.” He paused and then Spencer felt him shake his head. “C’mon, we should go home to figure this out.”

Home sounded wonderful. Spencer retained just enough semblance of himself to remember something important first, though. “Mo’gan’s outside in the car.”

“No problem, little bird. I got it.”

That was all the reassurance that Spencer needed to relax again. He trusted Gabriel to take care of them.

A snap of Gabriel’s fingers and the world around them shifted. Spencer peeked out when they landed and found that they were standing in the library of the bunker. Derek was beside them, tumbling down to the ground as he went from obviously sitting in the car to sitting in mid-air. He landed with a thud and a curse that immediately drew the attention of the rest of the bunker’s inhabitants. Hunters and angels alike rushed into the room. In what felt like an instant, everyone was there, weapons at the ready.

To his extreme embarrassment, Spencer responded with fear, his grace and wings _quivering_ as he tried to burrow in against Gabriel even more. Gabriel was _safe_ , his grace told him. Usually, Spencer could ignore the slightly childish things his grace seemed to like to say or make him do. Right now, he had no control over it at all. His body was moving before his adult brain had time to catch up.

Gabriel, bless him, seemed to understand all this a whole lot better than Spencer did. He drew his middle wings in tight around them, one covering Spencer from the shoulders down, wrapping over him like a blanket and curling over Gabriel’s other side, while the other one lifted up and sheltered even Spencer’s head, draping up over Gabriel’s shoulder. It perfectly hid Spencer from the sight of the angels in the room. Though Spencer knew it didn’t shield him from the humans, it gave him the illusion of privacy, and that was good enough.

The hand that Gabriel had on his back started to stroke soothingly, petting at his back and wings. “Actually, they hide you from everyone right now, kiddo. I’ve got them out for everyone to see.”

 _Oh_. Spencer made a happy little chirping sound. He felt his tension draining away, wrapped up in Gabriel like this. The petting only soothed him even more. Inside, his mind was asking him what he was doing, why he was acting like this, why was he letting Gabriel _pet_ him? On the outside, he gave another chirp and nuzzled at Gabriel’s neck.

His happiness was interrupted by a wave of open shock coming from the three other archangels. More than that, it was the sound of Dean’s voice that really caught him as the hunter loudly and furiously demanded: “What the _hell_ is going on here?”


End file.
